Monday, May 9, 2011

Back to work.... revisiting ye olde sammich shoppe

Well, one week down and I made it without things going badly.  Last week was somewhat difficult in that I have to constantly hear people tell me what "big shoes" I have to fill, and blah blah blah... Yeah, I know, most of them think I am some new girl and I am still learning the ropes and what-not.  I get a little irritated with it, but then I try to keep in mind that this is how the boss wants it, so it is what it is.  Sometimes it's a good thing, like when I screw something up or forget something (which actually is not often at all), or just when I have a "duh" moment.

What REALLY gets to me though, is when customers come in and start asking the boss about the kids, and I can't say anything, because he (for whatever reason) doesn't want the general customer base to know that I am the "ex".  They're my kids too, they live with me, I know them better than anyone else, but I can't comment on anything.  :(  Frustrating, but I guess eventually I will get over it. 

The old customers who remember and recognize me make me smile though, and it's nice to see them again and to be able to have a normal conversation with them without having to lie or be evasive.  It's just not natural for me to have to cover up who I am in this way.

Anyway, for the most part, it is going well.  I still get that old feeling that I can't do anything right, regardless of whether I actually AM or not.  It's also quite uncomfortable at times being in the same vicinity as the boss, given that we went for so long without really talking to each other.  I try to chit chat some about the kids and what-not, but more times than not, I feel like I really should just shut up and not say anything - which is what I'd rather do anyway.  It just feels rude of me to NOT talk, or .. something, I dunno.  I'm normally the type to be talked TO, not to do the talking.  I know it will get easier at some point, just right now it's still in that uncomfortable "don't really know what to say" stage.  At least now, I know that I won't get upset like I used to when he gets mad at me for doing or saying something wrong.  I can say, "sorry" and leave it at work.  :)

I'm just really thankful that I have Tom to come home to every day.  He makes everything better, even on good days!