Thursday, February 18, 2010
I spent most of the day yesterday in bed. I was watching TV and I was freezing all day, so it seemed a perfect place to be... all warm and comfy. I even ate pizza in bed. Eventually, I fell asleep while waiting for Tom to come to bed. I made myself get out of bed to go supervise Emily while she did her homework around 6 and to make sure she ate dinner, then I fell asleep on the couch again. I woke a bit before 9, and crawled back into bed, where I managed to stay until 5:45 am this morning. Normally, I only spend so much time in bed when I am sick. Right now, I just don't want to deal with anything, so bed is my escape because nobody really bothers me when I am in there. It's like being on "base" when you're playing tag and nobody can touch me, I'm "safe" in there. I'm even safer when Tom is in there with me, with his arms around me. It's like everything else just disappears and all's right with the world. I just wish that feeling could stay with me when I walk out the bedroom door.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
So, I live in NE Florida.... and it can get kinda cold here during the winter months (yeah, can you believe THAT? We get winter here sometimes!) and it's been freakin' cold for waaaaaaaaaaaay too long. We've been consistently getting frost for a few days again, and it was like this for a couple of weeks last month too. Most of our nights have been below 40, some below 30 since the beginning of January. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I live in Florida for a reason - NO COLD!!!! (Okay, well, two reasons, I was born here and don't want to leave.) I love the heat, I love the sun, I love being outside in the warmth and being able to wear flip-flops and shorts. I HATE having to wear a jacket and socks with my shoes. I'm sick of this weather! These days, it seems since I lost about 30 pounds, I don't have that nice fluffy layer of insulation to keep me warm, so I'm constantly cold. Right now, my feet are like ice cubes. I'm tired of not being able to go for my jogs because the cold air and wind makes my eyes water, thus making my nose run, and then it's hard to breathe right while running. I want to work out in the yard, plant some flowers, mow the grass, see some GREEN again! I hate walking my daughter to the bus stop and it being only 37° outside. I just don't like it. I'd settle for high 60s for temps right now even... I can lay in my hammock in the sun in high 60s and be comfortable and happy. Yeah, that's what I'm wishing for this week.... high 60s, sun and time in the hammock. Y'all can keep Old Man Winter up North... we only want him down here for that Red and Green holiday so we can wear the obligatory holiday sweater without sweating to death. :-P
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Some of you are wondering, who the hell is Tom? Tom is my love, the yin to my yang, the peanut butter to my chocolate... you get my drift. How did this happen? Well, I'll paraphrase a little bit of how I told someone else:
The first time I saw Tom, I was instantly attracted to him, despite the fact that I did not want to be. I was walking with one of the weirdos at work, Andrew "The Nose", and we were talking about some of the recipes we liked (Andrew used to work at a bakery) and Tom was walking with another co-worker and friend, Miguel, behind us and Miguel was picking on Andrew pretty hard, saying things like "She's married, Andrew" and "She's not interested in you, Andrew" and "No means NO, Andrew".... and I turned and smiled at them. Later after we'd already confessed how we felt about each other, Tom said when he saw me smile that night, he knew he wanted to learn more about me. I'll be honest, I was ready to quit that store before I met Tom. I'd transferred there almost a week prior and HATED it, and he'd been on vacation and I didn't meet him until he came back. I kept hearing him, over in the frozen section, doing a Captain Planet imitation... and every time I heard him say "By your powers combined"... I found myself smiling and wanting to hear it again.
After hanging out with Tom (and the rest of the guys) for a couple of days at breaks and lunches, I learned that Tom was witty and brilliant, and a little evil. He has this quiet and unassuming ridiculousness about him, most people think he's the good one out of the dynamic duo of him and Miguel. He's like that little devil that sits on your shoulder, whispering in your ear, but looks like the angel on the other shoulder. I loved watching him laugh, the way he'd drop his head and his shoulders would shake. Later, I'd find myself constantly looking down toward the end of my aisle, just in case he passed by. He always looked my way and did that thing with his eyebrows, where he tried to look intimidating by raising one of them and looking all serious...... it always made me smile. I even liked just watching him walk past, the way he kind of loped along pulling a pallet jack. Never noticed these things about anyone else before. Never cared to. I think I even made a comment or two about him to my sister Babs about him, probably about his shoulders or something. He has really broad shoulders, and is really tall... plus he has a beard, all physical things that I find extremely attractive in a man.
A couple of weeks later, I had a customer come in and hit me with a really bad come-on line. He smelled like B.O. and booze, and was a creepy little dude who reminded me a bit of a mix between Popeye and Red Skelton. He came up to me and took my hand like he was going to shake it and said to me, "Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?" I said, "Ummm... noooo...", and he says to me "Just enough to break the ice", and he turns my hand and lifts it and kisses the back of it. Okay, THAT freaked me out and I quickly removed my hand from his and proceeded to excuse myself to get back to work. Later, at our next break, I told Tom and the rest of the guys about this freakish little imp and his assault on my hand and then informed them that I needed a "WalMart Husband" so I can avoid these kinds of creeps or have them smashed to pieces. Then I decided that Tom would be perfect for the role since he's the biggest out of all the guys and the most believable to be both mine AND a bad ass. Not long after this, Tom found me on Facebook and sent me a friend request with this little gem of info in a message: "Average adult male 900 lbs. Average adult female 500 lbs. That's how much polar bears weigh, in case you were wondering :P." I will confess, I had been trying to see if he was on Facebook too, but I didn't know his last name, and there are a LOT of Toms on FB. :) Anyway, we got to know each other a lot better through chatting on FB, but knew nothing was going to happen because I was married. I think I knew in the back of my head though, that being married to Andy was not something that was working out the way I had envisioned and that it had been coming slowly to an end for over a year at that point. The Halloween party was when I realized I was starting to feel serious feelings for him. He spent the entire night feeling concerned about me, making sure I was okay, especially when Andy seemed so unconcerned and didn't even notice that most of the night I was near or holding back tears. (I had some health issues going on at the time.) That is when things started to hit me really hard. Why is this guy so damned worried about me? I made the choice to be with Tom, when all I could think about was him. When I knew I was in love with him, I knew in my heart, if not my head yet, there was no other option for me. He makes me laugh, like ALL the time. He doesn't like to see me without a smile on my face. He does everything he can to make sure I have one. There are so many things that I find attractive about him - he's freakishly smart, well-versed, well-read, affectionate and caring, helpful to a fault, he's extremely laid-back and even-tempered, doesn't let things get him worked up or angry very much. ... Yes, he is 12 years younger than I am, but he's not immature as some might think and I have never acted my age, I just never wanted to grow the hell up. He and I have a lot more in common than one would think, everything ranging from music and books to clothing choices and food. He's someone I can have a beer with or just snuggle on the couch with. He is complimentary to me, and he balks when I disagree with him. He is the one who never lets go, even when he knows I have to go. When he knows I am upset or have something on my mind, when I shake my head if he asks what is wrong, he tells me that if I want to talk about it, I can and he will be there, but he doesn't press me. He knows I will speak when I am ready, and not try to pull or force things out of me before I can form the words. Then he says something absolutely ridiculous and I end up laughing and forgetting whatever it was that I was upset about in the first place. He wants to be around me ALL the time, he loves my quirky ways and strange hobbies. He calls me a dork and loves that I am weird. He is just about everything I could have ever wanted in a man, and some things I didn't even know I wanted but really, really like. There is not one thing about him that I would change... which is weird, because there were things I wanted to change about everyone else I've known.
I am in love with him, so much so that I feel like I can't even breathe when he is not with me. I have never felt quite this strongly about anyone else before. Sure, I was very taken with the other two men in my life, but not as powerfully as this. Tom is so right for me, so perfect, that I can't even think of being without him. I've never wanted to be with someone so much or to be around someone for as much as we are between work and home as I do with him. Lovesick, you say? Yes, yes I am. Crazy in love? Yes, absolutely. I admit it, I am head over heels and I am damned happy. Tom makes me happy. Everyone sees it, and they see the difference in me when he is not around, especially at work.