Jeeperz Creeperz

My cat, Jeeperz, was the BEST cat EVER.  I never pushed her away from me, never had to get on to her for being bad (except when I had to take small baby animals from her), never got angry with her.  She was just the sweetest little tuxedo cat.  She was tiny, barely six pounds.  Her little tail was not even half as long as a normal cat tail and she was born with it that way, it even had a little crook in it.  She was the runt of the litter - the last of the kittens and no one else wanted her until Ivy brought her for me to see.  I fell in love with her immediately and said we'd add her to our family.  She gave us some scares when she bled so badly from the smallest of cuts (she was a bleeder) and she was a risk taker with her running across the driveway when we'd drive up.  But she was so funny when she was get frisky and dart through the house like a wildcat and try to hide behind the curtains from me like I couldn't see her.  Sometimes she would even chase me around the house.  She rolled on the floor and made an almost imperceptible meow at times, especially when I would sneeze.  Jeeperz was not a lap cat and didn't like to be held at all, but she would purr all the same when I would pick her up and scratch her head.  Every once in a while, she'd crawl under the sheet with me in bed and sleep down by my feet, especially when I was not feeling well. 

Jeeperz died the other day when she tried to make it under the garage door while it was closing.  I never even knew she was there until several hours later.  I blame myself, I should have checked to see if she was still outside before I put the door down, especially since a storm was coming.  The shoulda-coulda-wouldas are useless now and she is gone.  She will never leave my heart though.  I love that cat.

To look for a new job or not to look for a new job....

So, lately I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I know I probably need to get a second job to catch up on everything.... but there's a couple of new things in my head that make me think I should ditch my current job (which I LOVE) and get a job during the day, so I can be home at night with the kids.  Part of me thinks this won't make much of a difference since I can't control the kids ALL the time anyway, and it's mainly my teenager that is the one that is making me rethink my hours with some of the things I suspect of him, but still...

There's a lingering feeling that maybe it's time to give up doing what I enjoy doing and bite the bullet and do something that has me working regular hours for a bit better pay (but will most assuredly be something I HATE doing, like office work).  I am really, REALLY torn on what to do here.  This is the first job I've had that I didn't want to call in sick all the time for, that I don't dread going in every night to, and that I have lasted for longer than a year at (working with Lee doesn't count).  If I could work in a non-customer filled area, and keep moving most of the time lifting and manually working during the daytime, I'd be perfectly happy working somewhere else.  It's hard to find a job though that fits the bill that I've created.  I guess I'm just not destined to be happy either way.

Hangin' with my BFF

Had a positively awesome time with my BFF of about 11 years and her family yesterday.  We hung out, played some pool volleyball, had some burgers and brews and just had FUN.  I have missed having FUN for so long now... Shelly and I used to hang out all the time, and we always had a good time.  Things got screwy for a while during my second marriage and she and I drifted apart (I won't go into all that) but we're back to the way things are supposed to be now and I couldn't be happier about it.  I'm especially thankful that Tom and Shelly get along very well and that I don't have to worry about being in the middle of the sour feelings that I was in the previous relationship. I missed her, I missed her family, and I missed being around them.  It was hard to go from seeing them all at least once a week for an afternoon, to going months without even talking.  I'm just glad the darker days are behind us and we're back to being "right" again.  :)

Another one of the small things that makes me happy....

....about Tom.  (Yeah yeah, but I can't help it!)  Some things just strike me as something to put here; things that put a smile on my face or make me think a bit, and this is one of them.

Tom gets up and helps me pick up around the house.  Yesterday, I decided it was time to do a sweep around the house, and while I was washing up some dishes in the kitchen, Tom walked around the house, picking up stuff and putting it away for me. If he was unsure of where something went or who it belongs to, he asks, but he got the majority of the assorted stuff that littered the floor and tables to where it all belongs.  I didn't ask him to, he didn't ask me if I needed help - he just did it.  I just don't understand why other people can't do that every once in a while.- just HELP instead of watching or asking the rhetorical question of whether or not I need help.  Of course I don't NEED help.  But sometimes, it's nice to have someone else step up and just jump in when they see me cleaning around the house.  Tom is good about pitching in without my having to ask him to, and I appreciate it more than he knows.  It's one of the many things that sets him apart from every other man I've ever encountered in my life and one of the reasons I fall deeper in love with him every single day.

Things that make me happy about being with Tom....

I'll try not to get too mushy, but I can't keep myself from completely gushing when it comes to Tom.

Last week, Tom and I were at the store, and as he was parking, he pulled all the way through the parking space into the next one so that he didn't have to back out of the space when it was time to leave.  Now, to most people, this is probably an insignificant thing, something that most people don't think about at all when picking a parking space.  To me, however, this is something that just makes sense.  It always annoys me to be in the passenger seat with someone who doesn't think to pull all the way forward when there's not a vehicle in the space opposite the one you initially pull into.  I realize the best way to remedy this annoyance is to be the one driving at all times, but sometimes certain occasions dictate my being a passenger.  It just seems like the smart choice, to pull all the way through when there's no other car in the way, negating the need to back out of the parking space, thus lessening the chance of some idiot getting in the way when you're trying to get out of the space and having to look over both shoulders.  (This doesn't apply to large grocery buying trips that require the back end of the vehicle to be left unhindered by the front end of another car though.  I can't get to the lift gate of the Suburban if some soccer mom's mini van front end is parked directly behind me.)  Anyway, as I was saying, Tom pulled all the way through.  I remember the first time he did that when we were at the mall... I almost cried.  He looked at me like I had two heads when I told him why I was smiling at him the way I was.  It's the little things that make me happy, and that is one of those simple little things.  Yeah, I'm weird, I know this already.

Tom knows how I like my coffee - AND he makes it for me.  Again, something really simple, yet amazingly effective in making me  happy.  He knows the right amounts of sugar and creamer that I like, and he doesn't hesitate to stir me up a cup.  To me, this is one of the sweetest gestures that anyone has ever made for me.  One morning, I came home from work, and he had a pot of it brewed up and a steaming hot mug of coffee ready for me as soon as I walked in the door.  Again, tears welled up in my eyes from this simple action from him.  Yes, a dork, I know I am.

He told me to stay put when I needed a napkin and he got up to get one for me.  Now, seriously, I can get up and get my own napkin... but he wanted to do it for me.  How freakin' sweet is that?  He gets up and lets my cat Jeeperz in and out of the house when he hears her meowing at the door, so I don't have to get up.  When we have pizza, he goes to the kitchen and gets me that third slice (even though I don't need it, but really want it).  He fixes me whatever beverage I want... the man even goes to the garage to get me a beer when it seems like a good beer time, even though he doesn't drink it himself.  It's been a long time since someone has done that for me.  He knows my favorite beer and my favorite chocolate.  These are all little things that he does that just make my heart do a little skip and I sigh and think how lucky I am.

He lays in my  hammock with me.  Nobody except my girls has ever gotten into the hammock with me.  Laying there in his arms in the sunshine is an amazing feeling.  I always wanted to share the hammock with someone who cares about me, now I do.  Add that to the perfectly perfect moments that make me unbelievably happy - and are all his doing. 

He likes and even suggests going to the local cemeteries, because he knows how much I love them.  He mills around them with me, and holds my hand while we walk.  He's even taken photos himself while we were at one.  THAT, my friends, makes me happy.  I love that he wants to be involved in the stuff that I enjoy.

He knows how much I love dragonflies..... and he took a few minutes one day while we were at the mall to leave the table while I was finishing up my Teriyaki Chicken to go scope out the closest jewelry stand... and had the guy there make a necklace pendant out of a belly button ring pendant, just because it was the only dragonfly piece of jewelry they had there and he thought I'd like it.  I had no clue what he was doing until we came back there later and he picked it up for me.  He was wrong, I didn't like it.  I LOVED it.  I haven't taken it off since he gave it to me.

He is always doing or saying things that make me smile.  The man is so sweet,  so thoughtful.... it really is just disgusting.  NO ONE should be that sweet; it's just unnatural, really it is.  I am so lucky.... I just can't believe how lucky I am to have him.  Thankful, I am.  In love, I am.  Happy, definitely, I am.

/sappy

;-)

But I don't wanna get out of bed.....

I spent most of the day yesterday in bed.  I was watching TV and I was freezing all day, so it seemed a perfect place to be... all warm and comfy.  I even ate pizza in bed.  Eventually, I fell asleep while waiting for Tom to come to bed.  I made myself get out of bed to go supervise Emily while she did her homework around 6 and to make sure she ate dinner, then I fell asleep on the couch again.  I woke a bit before 9, and crawled back into bed, where I managed to stay until 5:45 am this morning.  Normally, I only spend so much time in bed when I am sick.  Right now, I just don't want to deal with anything, so bed is my escape because nobody really bothers me when I am in there.  It's like being on "base" when you're playing tag and nobody can touch me, I'm "safe" in there.  I'm even safer when Tom is in there with me, with his arms around me.  It's like everything else just disappears and all's right with the world.  I just wish that feeling could stay with me when I walk out the bedroom door.

Baby, it's COLD outside!

So, I live in NE Florida.... and it can get kinda cold here during the winter months (yeah, can you believe THAT?  We get winter here sometimes!)  and it's been freakin' cold for waaaaaaaaaaaay too long.  We've been consistently getting frost for a few days again, and it was like this for a couple of weeks last month too.  Most of our nights have been below 40, some below 30 since the beginning of January.  Now, I don't know about y'all, but I live in Florida for a reason - NO COLD!!!!  (Okay, well, two reasons, I was born here and don't want to leave.)  I love the heat, I love the sun, I love being outside in the warmth and being able to wear flip-flops and shorts.  I HATE having to wear a jacket and socks with my shoes.  I'm sick of this weather!  These days, it seems since I lost about 30 pounds, I don't have that nice fluffy layer of insulation to keep me warm, so I'm constantly cold.  Right now, my feet are like ice cubes.  I'm tired of not being able to go for my jogs because the cold air and wind makes my eyes water, thus making my nose run, and then it's hard to breathe right while running.  I want to work out in the yard, plant some flowers, mow the grass, see some GREEN again!  I hate walking my daughter to the bus stop and it being only 37° outside.  I just don't like it.  I'd settle for high 60s for temps right now even... I can lay in my hammock in the sun in high 60s and be comfortable and happy.  Yeah, that's what I'm wishing for this week.... high 60s, sun and time in the hammock.  Y'all can keep Old Man Winter up North... we only want him down here for that Red and Green holiday so we can wear the obligatory holiday sweater without sweating to death.  :-P